2/26/2010

Week 2: Joshua vs. Judges


Welcome again to 06/07, where this post barely manages to stay within the week!

This week, we'll be discussing...



(Joshua commands the sun stay still in the sky so he can continue owning the Amorites)
JOSHUA

VS.

(Samson pulls down the pillars of the Temple of Dagon, killing all inside)

JUDGES


This week, we'll be discussing the sixth and seventh Books of the Old Testament (and the Torah, too), Joshua, where Moses dies and Joshua, Judge of the Israelites, engages in an expansionist campaign against a bunch of tribes whose names are all but lost to history, and Judges, a history of the other Judges of Israel, ending with Samson, he whose kryptonite was a short back and sides.


Unfortunately, as it turns out opening the Ark of the Covenant doesn't turn up in either book, as I found out. (It's in 1 Samuel). Nonetheless, this shan't deter us: In this post, I'll be going through both books (King James Version, if you must know) and roughly detailing the events of each verse, with an attempt at witty commentary along the way and a Body Count meter. (The Old Testament is very violent.) Famous or important incidents will have the chapter bolded.

After all that, I'll be making final judgments next post, to see if the sixth or seventh book of the Bible is subjectively better!

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With that, let's get started! This week, we'll cover the Book of...

JOSHUA

1: The LORD commands that the titular Joshua, son of Nun, lead the Israelites with the passing of Moses. Joshua tells the tribes that their campaign begins, and they shall not rest till they conquer the promised lands. The death penalty is in effect.


"Whosoever he be that doth rebel against thy commandment, and will not hearken unto thy words in all that thou commandest him, he shall be put to death: only be strong and of a good courage."

2:
Joshua sends spies to go and find out about the other kingdoms. Then the spies lodge in a harlot's house. The King of Jericho finds out they're there and tries to root them out. (Wow, these are terrible spies.) The harlot spirits the spies to safety in return for a promise that the LORD will show mercy on her house. The spies tell Joshua that:

"Truly the LORD hath delivered into our hands all the land; for even all the inhabitants of the country do faint because of us."


(If that's all they found out, they're not very good spies...)

3 - 4: The forces of Joshua have to cross the river Jordan. The ark is brought to the river, and like Moses before him, Joshua parts the river, letting the Israelite continue on their way. 12 stones are brought over as a marker of this achievement, and we now know the size of Joshua's army: 40,000 troops cross into the plains of Jericho.

5: Joshua orders the children of Israel to be circumsized. The LORD declares their current campsite Gilgal, and an angel appears to Joshua and tells him to take off his shoes, for he stands on holy ground.

6: The gates of Jericho are closed to all, for the Israelites, 40,000 strong, are coming. Instead of besieging them, Joshua orders that priests playing horns and the Ark of the Covenant circle the walls for 7 days. As we know, on the 7th day, the walls collapse, and the Israelites charge into the city, plundering the silver and gold and brass for the LORD, burning and killing all the rest besides the harlot Rahab (see Chapter 2).

"
And Joshua adjured them at that time, saying, Cursed be the man before the LORD, that riseth up and buildeth this city Jericho: he shall lay the foundation thereof in his firstborn, and in his youngest son shall he set up the gates of it."

(Hopefully Israeli urban developers remember that.)


BODY COUNT: The population of Jericho - 1

7: The next battle is met with disaster, as the Israelites fare poorly against the men of Ai, losing 36 men for two reasons: Joshua sent only 2,000 to 3,000 men in the hopes it would be an easy battle, and a man called Achan kept an item which the LORD put the curse of destruction upon. Joshua learns of this when he rents (tears) his shirt and pleads with the LORD for an explanation. Once this happens, he orders the people sanctified and Achan and his family stoned to death.

"
And all Israel stoned him with stones, and burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones."

(And here I was thinking they'd use rocks. And why say that they stoned them with stones TWICE?
)

BODY COUNT: Jericho -1 + 36 Israelites + Achan + Achan's family

8: Joshua gets his act together for a second battle at Ai. He sets up an ambush at between Bethel and Ai, and pretends to falter after sending his main troops to besiege Ai. The troops of Ai charge after the retreating Israelites, leaving the city itself unguarded. The ambush charges Ai and burns it down, surrounding the enemies from back and front. The King of Ai is taken alive, and hung from a tree. Joshua reads the words of the LORD to the people afterwards.

BODY COUNT: Jericho -1 + 36 Israelites + Achan + Achan's family + Ai

9: The Gibeonites (not the Gideons) conduct a ruse, claiming that the are from a faraway kingdom and want to sign a peace treaty with Israel. Without consulting the LORD, Joshua signs it, only to find out three days later that they were neighbours. Incensed, Joshua enslaves the Gibeonites, turning them into water carriers and woodcutters, which is better than killing them all, I suppose.

10: Adonizedec, Hoham, Piram, Japhia and Debir, nearby kings start to worry and form an anti-Israel alliance and start massacring the Gibeonites. The surviving Gibeonites plead with Israel to save them, which they do. In a totally one-sided battle, the Israelites slaughter the Amorite troops, the Amorite cities, and humiliate the Amorite kings before hanging them all. They also conquer another place called Makkedah. (Israel apparently has a good track record against unfriendly alliances.)

BODY COUNT: Jericho -1 + 36 Israelites + Achan + Achan's family + 12,000 Ai + Makkedah + Libnah + Lachish + Gezer + Eglon + Hebron

11: Another alliance is brought against Israel, which Joshua handily defeats: Hazor, Madon, Shimron, Achshaph, the kingdoms that north of the mountains, and south of Chinneroth, and in the valley, and in the west, the Canaanites, the Amorites, and the Hittites, and the Perizzites, and the Jebusites all fall. Besides the Hivites, who made peace, Joshua defeats all the rest after a long campaign, along with the Anakims. Why don't more make peace, one might ask?

"For it was of the LORD to harden their hearts, that they should come against Israel in battle, that he might destroy them utterly, and that they might have no favour, but that he might destroy them, as the LORD commanded Moses. " (Looks like he's pulling the same trick that he did with Pharaoh.)

Anyway,

"So Joshua took the whole land, according to all that the LORD said unto Moses; and Joshua gave it for an inheritance unto Israel according to their divisions by their tribes. And the land rested from war."

BODY COUNT:
Jericho -1 + 36 Israelites + Achan + Achan's family + 12,000 Ai + Makkedah + Libnah + Lachish + Gezer + Eglon + Hebron + 22 other kingdoms + the Anakim

12: Essentially the body count of the campaign led by Joshua.

13 - 19: Now an old man, Joshua divides the lands he has captured among the 9.5 tribes of Israel. Only the tribe of Levi receives no land, for:

"[T]he LORD God of Israel was their inheritance, as [Joshua] said unto them."


The LORD tells Joshua there is still much work to be done: the borders of the Philistines, the Geshuri, the Sihor amongst many others are still not yet reached. Caleb tells Joshua that Moses promised him land once, and Joshua cedes him Hebron. Some tribes remain unconquered, and live among the Israelites.

20: The first manslaughter law is described. Several cities are set as safe refuge for those who have accidentally killed another.

21 - 22: The Israelites, weary of war, are finally allowed to go to their lands in peace. Two tribes construct an altar, infuriating the other tribes and it seems that civil war might break out. The tribes defend themselves, saying that they have done so to pay homage and witness the LORD and not to conduct burnt sacrifice. This pleases the other tribes, and the altar is hence called Ed.

23: Joshua waxes old and is stricken in age, and calls the elders of Israel before him one last time, telling them to take good heed and always love the LORD, else destruction befall them.

24: Joshua and the elders come before the LORD to hear this message from the LORD this time around, and promise to ever serve the LORD and not strange gods. Joshua inscribes the book of Joshua into stone.

"And it came to pass after these things, that Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the LORD, died, being an hundred and ten years old.

And they buried him in the border of his inheritance in Timnathserah, which is in mount Ephraim, on the north side of the hill of Gaash.

And Israel served the LORD all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders that overlived Joshua, and which had known all the works of the LORD, that he had done for Israel."

Amen.

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Catch this blog next week, when I go through...

JUDGES

and round up this week's discussion.

Till then, see you all!

2/17/2010

Week 1: John Q. Adams vs. Andrew Jackson

Welcome back one and all to 06/07 - The Numbers Game! The original plan for this post was to compare June and July but I'd have to compare each of the 61 days. Then there was the plan for centuries of the 600s and the 700s. Then the births and deaths for each of those took a hundred pages each.

So, instead of that we have something a bit simpler. This time, we're comparing...

JOHN QUINCY ADAMS

VS.

ANDREW JACKSON

Yes, this week we'll be comparing the sixth and seventh PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES!

*crickets*

Look, the political history of the US may not be everybody's cup of tea, but don't worry. The United States of the 19th century was a weird and wonderful place, full of instability and new frontiers and all that stuff that makes for good historical fiction. Besides, I have good word from Cracked.com about Andrew Jackson's badass-ness, so at least half of this post is going to filled with the good stuff.

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Let's get down to it, then!


JOHN QUINCY ADAMS

Also known as: John Q. Adams, John Adams II: The Revenge, Adams '25 (okay,not really)

BORN: July 11, 1767
DIED: Feb 23, 1848

PRESIDENT: 1825 - 1829


PROS:
  • Great diplomat according to most historians
  • Served as representative long after his reign
  • Predicted the American Civil War nearly 40 years before it happened
  • Defended the behavior of Andrew Jackson when he was a general, silencing Brits and Spaniards alike
  • Ended the War of 1812 between UK and the USA
  • Fought for - and won - the rights and freedom of a group of mutinous Spanish slaves, throwing out legal precedent and convinced the court that they had been treated illegally and should not be transported back to Spain as criminals, generally accepted as his Crowning Moment of Awesome
  • Only president to have met the Founding Fathers and Abraham Lincoln, or so they say
  • Owned Andrew Jackson in the 1824 election, despite losing the popular and electoral votes
  • Died as he lived; with a heart attack following a dramatic "NO!" in the House of Representatives
  • Kept a freaking pet alligator in the White House
  • Has about 19 places named after him
CONS:
  • "Ugly as sin" and the "scariest looking President ever", according to TV Tropes
  • Didn't make concessions as he thought they'd hurt his campaign; resulted in needless trade wars
  • Accused of cronyism as he appointed one of his opponents Secretary of State in a "corrupt bargain"
  • Proposals were blocked at every turn by a Jackson-ian Congress, lost control
  • Instituted enormously unpopular tariffs that made him lose even more support
  • Didn't do much during his presidency, as Congress was too hostile
  • Second ever one-term President, after his dad
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ANDREW JACKSON
Also known as: Old Hickory (for his toughness), Not Andrew Johnson (to distinguish him from that loser)

BORN: March 15, 1767
DIED: June 8, 1845

PRESIDENT: 1829 - 1837



PROS:
  • Once a POW of the Brits, showed defiant nature from start when he refused to polish a Redcoat's boots
  • Bought Tennessee and built Memphis
  • Badass colonel then general, beating the "Red Stick" Indians, demolished the Brits at New Orleans
  • Won the Seminole War, killing Seminoles, Spanish and Brits alike
  • Invented the Democratic Party
  • Won the 1828 election by a landslide
  • Only President to ever have paid off the national debt
  • Teamed up with Davey Crockett to beat the crap out of a would-be assassin
  • Fought either 13 over OVER ONE HUNDRED (WHAT ONE HUNDRED?!) duels, mainly over his wife's honor
  • Has a buttload of places named after him
CONS:
  • Brought to court over his actions in the Seminole War, needing John Q. Adams to bail him out
  • Somehow lost the 1824 election to Adams despite plurality in the popular and electoral vote
  • Attempts to limit the power of banks led to the Panic of 1837, plunging the country into deep depression
  • Nullification crisis (which would lead to secession and the American Civil War) happened during his rule - more his scheming Vice President's work, though
  • Relocated the American Indians and drove them out of the lands, "Trail of Tears"
  • Invented the Democratic Party
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FINAL RECKONING:

Both Adams and Jackson stand as the last of the truly great 19th century American presidents (besides James K. Polk and Abraham Lincoln) and it's quite evident that both men led vastly different lives before their presidential campaigns, Adams being a brilliant diplomat while Jackson made a living of being a BMF, generally being an unstoppable force of nature.

Adams, despite somehow eking out a victory in 1824, suffered various scandals that led to his entire Congress stopping his policies at every turn. On the other hand, Jackson was certainly able to achieve more, but even then the extent of the success of his policies has been rather questionable, the Nullification crisis casting the longest shadow, seeing as it led to the Civil War.

The question of which was a better President has been answered by a variety of authorities, most in favor of Jackson; Adams scores 17th best on average while Jackson is 9th best. On the other hand, this website claims not to have any objective criteria (or doesn't claim to have any objective criteria)...

Unfortunately for John Q. Adams, history hasn't been too favorable, and with the evidence at hand, the second win goes to President #7, Andrew Jackson.

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RUNNING TALLY:

SIX 0 : 2 SEVEN


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That's all for today, folks! See you next time on 06/07: The Numbers Game!

2/14/2010

Week 1: So It Begins

Hello one and all to 06/07: The Numbers Game, which should remain the title of this blog until I think of a better one. =P

So! What is the purpose of this website, then? Well, to put in in basic terms, once (or twice or thrice, depending on how much or how little time I have) a week, I'll be comparing the sixth of a lineage or series with its next, seventh, counterpart, i.e. the 6th vs. the 7th (or no. 6 vs. no. 7).

Examples that I'll probably be doing include Henry VI vs. Henry VII and Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country vs. Star Trek Generations. That sort of thing.

Why 6 and 7 and not, say, 1 and 2; 3 and 4 or 8 and 9 or any other permutation of such numbers? The answer is simple and can be seen as easily as the numbers on my house door.

...yeah.


Other numerically interesting facts about 6 and 7 are as follows:

6 + 7 = lucky 13
6 × 7 = 42, the answer to life, the universe and everything
76 = 1, the fundamental unit
6 ÷ 7 = 0.857142, repeating
7 ÷ 6 = 1.166666, repeating

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Now, without further ado, let's bring out our first two contestants!






VS.



That's right, we'll be examining the two fundamental numbers that form the basis of this blog. This will be done through a comparision of their mathematical properties, with a roundup and final verdict at the end.


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DISCLAIMER: This blog does not claim to hold any sort of objective criteria or rubrics for comparision. All results should not be used for any kind of academic or scholarly research.
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THE NUMBER 6

Also known as: Seis, Kuusi, Έξι, Sei, 六





MATHEMATICAL PROPERTIES:

  • Second smallest composite (not prime) number
  • Smallest perfect number (factors of 1 + 2 + 3 = 6, the original number.)

  • Only number that is both the sum and the product of three consecutive positive numbers (i.e. 1 + 2 + 3 = 6 = 1 × 2 × 3)

  • 3! = 6

  • A 6-sided 3d block, the cube, is one of the five Platonic solids

OTHER (SCIENTIFIC AND SYMBOLIC) PROPERTIES


  • There exist 6 types of quark and lepton (what those are is another question)

  • Carbon has an atomic no. of 6

  • Honeycombs are hexagonal

  • 6-fold symmetry of snowflakes

  • All insects have 6 legs

  • The Star of David has 6 points

  • 666, the number of the Devil

  • 6 days of Shawwal plus Ramadan equals fasting for the Islamic year

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THE NUMBER 7


Also known as: Siete, Sept, επτά, 七



MATHEMATICAL PROPERTIES:
  • Fourth prime number (2, 3, 5, 7)

  • Mersenne prime (2^3 − 1 = 7), Double Mersenne prime (2^7 − 1 = 127, another prime)

  • Lowest number that cannot be represented by a summation of 3 squares

  • Value of the opposite sides of a six-sided die

  • Most likely value when you roll 2 dice (combinations include 1 + 6, 2 + 5, 3+ 4, reverse)

OTHER (SCIENTIFIC AND SYMBOLIC) PROPERTIES:

  • 7 SI units: m, kg, s, A, K, mol, cd

  • 7 colors of the rainbow: ROYGBIV (Richard of York* Gave Battle in Vain)

  • Nitrogen has an atomic no. of 7

  • 7 celestial objects visible from Earth (Sun, Moon, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, Saturn)

  • 7 days of creation, Jericho fell on the 7th day, 7 virtues and sins, etc.

  • 7 chakras

  • 7 Heavens, 7 Fires of Hell

  • 7 arms in a menorah, 7 days of Passover, etc.

  • 7 Lucky Gods

  • 7 Hindu Sages

  • etc...

*Watch out for him when we eventually reach Henry VI vs. Henry VII!


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FINAL JUDGMENT:

While 6 has a fair amount going for it (Perfect number, factorial, the cube's a Platonic solid), 7 also comes in strong as it's not just a prime, not just a Mersenne prime but a double Mersenne prime (among a lot of other types of primes), and also comes in very useful for gambling if you need to roll two dice.


Scientifically, both seem neck and neck: Snowflakes, Carbon, leptons and quarks and insects aren't too bad for 6, and 7 is pretty strong too with the almost as essential Nitrogen, the 7 SI units and the 7 visible stellar objects (not to mention the rainbow).


Unfortunately for 6, it falls short in symbolism: while it's got stakes in Islam, Judaism and Christianity, 7 utterly trounces it, with at least 50 whole mentions across the previously mentioned three along with Hinduism and Japanese folklore (in Wikipedia at least), and of course is the traditional "lucky number", crossing cultural divides as we can see.


All in all, the winner of the inaugural tie is THE NUMBER 7! Everybody give it a big hand, won't you?

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RUNNING TALLY:


SIX 0 : 1 SEVEN


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That's all for today, folks! See you next time on 06/07: The Numbers Game!